FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — The Pentagon has stood up a new Meme Warfare Center headed by a two-star general which will be tasked with countering Russian information operations online, sources confirmed.
“Warfare has gone to the digital,” Maj. Gen. Rob Farmer, the center’s commander, told reporters. “The US military follow to remain the most powerful and effective fighting force in the world.”
According to senior defense officials, the Meme Warfare Center’s mission statement is “to create and promote pro-DoD memes, and to make them go virus.” The Pentagon hopes to use memes to counter Russian and Islamic State misinformation spread through dank memes.
Upon assuming command, Farmer, 65, searched the internet to find out what a meme was.
“I’ll admit I’m out of my element here,” Farmer continued. “Back in my day a snapper chat was when guys drank beer and talked about fish. Now it’s something kids use on their phones, but it certainly isn’t their voice mail, am I right?” he added, to awkward silence.
“Two days ago I didn’t know what a meme was,” Farmer said. “Now I’ve done some research and it was a real lemonparty. My favorite is the blue penguin that is rare dank. I’m a memer lord expert that can haz cheezburger. Under my guidance no longer will the Islamic State step on the snake.”
Capt. Nancy Jackson, one of Farmer’s aides, told reporters that so far, the last two days have been hell.
“He found emojis in the first 10 minutes,” she said. “Now he gives pep talks saying things like ‘Your work is fire fire fire, laughing so hard I’m crying, eggplant.’ Today’s plan of the day was in rage comic form and had a note saying ‘If you cash me outside you better salute, how bout dah?’ He put a sign in front of the chow hall saying ‘Nom nomming’ and started calling the condiment bar the Salt Bae. What is this I can’t even.”
The Meme Warfare Center is expected to be fully operational by this summer with the launch of Operation Hashtags For Harambe.