WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump reassured worried citizens across the United States today, saying in a televised address that we have nothing to fear but a nuclear holocaust with North Korea.
“There is a major, major chance of a conflict with North Korea,” Trump said. “But don’t worry. We have nothing to fear. Everything is going to be fine. Except for much of South Korea that will be wiped out by conventional artillery, a huge portion of Japan, and perhaps even some of the western United States.”
According to sources, military planners at the Pentagon have presented numerous options for an attack on the Hermit Kingdom, including an airborne assault that would result in hundreds of thousands of casualties, or a sea-based landing that would result in hundreds of thousands of casualties.
Trump is also considering a nuclear first-strike on Pyongyang. Such an option would inevitably not take out all of the hidden missiles and artillery pieces of the regime, leading experts to believe Kim Jong-un would most likely retaliate against his neighbors and ignite World War III.
“Look folks, I know as president it is my job to be a voice of calm and reason amid such turbulence, and that is absolutely what I intend to do as we look to the very real possibility of a huge number of American deaths on the Korean peninsula,” Trump added.