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DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Elsa gives your weekend safety brief


You’re jonesing hard to go out to the bar
but you haven’t heard my speech.
The barracks in isolation
is where you’re gonna be
if you don’t listen to me, so sit your ass back down.
Better shut your mouth,
listen to me now:
Don’t drive wreckless
and don’t drive drunk.
Just behave now or your career is sunk.
Go out, get laid,
but first be warned
before you score…

If you go, if you go
to a strip club don’t come home
with a whore, with a whore,
turn away and slam the door.
I don’t care
what you’re going to say,
she just wants your cash,
the gal never cared for you anyway.

It’s funny how some distance
from the base seems oh so great,
and the hookah shops and pawn stores
are open really late.
There’s time to see what you can do,
to test the limits, get a tattoo.
“No right, no wrong, no rules for me?”
You’ll see!

You’re in trouble, yes you are now.
How will you explain, how?
Here I stand,
and here I’ll stay,
let your lies pour out…

You bought a stupid car with tricked out wheels and tints,
crashed it into a tree after one big bottle of gin,
and one thought crystallizes like an icy blast—
you’re going to the brig, the past will bite your ass.

“Let me go, let me go
I’ll do better Gunny I swear!
Let me go, let me go
Please please Gunny be fair!”
Here I am,
It’s my kid’s birthday.
I will crush you now,
the Corps never wanted you anyway.

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