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Army · Page 4

Army planners solve Korea tensions with proposal to move Seoul 300 miles south

By Duffel Blog Staff · Army Bureau · 1 minute

Filed 5 October 2022 · 1534

SEOUL — American military planners in South Korea have developed a solution to avoid civilian casualties in the event of a war with North Korea, sources confirmed today.

"If this thing ever kicks off with North Korea, Seoul is gonna get slimed with all sorts of chem, hammered with artillery, and maybe even a nuke," said Lt. Col. Jim Johnson, a planner with US Forces Korea. "No matter how long we looked at the problem we just couldn’t think of a way out of this mess.”

Then inspiration struck.

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For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Army planners solve Korea tensions with proposal to move Seoul 300 miles south

Also on this page

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

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