Kim Jong-un lashes out at Trump for getting Elton John’s ‘Rocket Man’ stuck in his head

Sponsored by GovX, which offers deep military discounts on gear, apparel & events – so you can save your money for the important things, like Ripits and tattoos.

PYONGYANG — North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un lashed out at President Donald Trump on Saturday, criticizing the president for getting the 1972 Elton John song “Rocket Man” stuck in his head for the past week.

“Rocket man! Burning out his fuse up here alone,” Kim said in a statement on North Korean state-run media. “I’d like to tell you about the mentally deranged behavior of Trump but I can’t get this goddamn song out of my head.”

“Oh no, no, no! I’m a rocket man!” Kim added.

In his speech to the UN on Tuesday, Trump called the North Korean regime “depraved,” adding that it was responsible for starvation, death, imprisonment, and torture of millions of its people.

When mentioning the country’s leader, Trump said, “Rocket Man is on a suicide mission for himself and for his regime.”

“As soon as I heard that, I knew what was coming,” Kim said, then beginning to sing: “And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time.”

“Son of a bitch.”

White House officials say Trump’s use of the nickname “rocket man” was in fact a deliberate attempt to anger the Kim regime with Elton John music. Meanwhile, Kim has threatened to bring “nuclear fire” to U.S. shores if he keeps hearing the song over the weekend.

Officials say the Trump administration has taken to subliminally influencing others in recent statements, to include the use of the phrase “I’m turning Japanese, I really think so” in a cable to Tokyo, and using the Taylor Swift lyric “look what you made me do” in a number of statements detailing recent air strikes on ISIS in Iraq and Syria.

Can you help us? We aren't some gigantic media corporation. Duffel Blog is literally just one guy editing a bunch of articles written by military contributors — all on a shoestring budget. If you love what we do, please donate a few bucks to keep our doors open. Even the smallest amount is a big help.

USMC Photo

Navy heeds Sen. McCain’s advice to end 100-hour work week, increases to 168

navy sailor rover

Weirdo waits until after watch to masturbate