Army to bring back WWII-era uniforms in lieu of WWII-era victory

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THE PENTAGON — The Army has announced plans to bring back WWII-era uniforms in lieu of WWII-era victory, Duffel Blog has learned.

The decision would improve morale and save the Pentagon money, defense officials said. It would also allow the Army to potentially recycle old uniforms for decades.

“With this system, we could keep this up for a long time,” Col. Brandon Mumford said. “Soldiers can wear these snazzy things a few years, then bam! We swap them for Desert Storm ACUs. Saves us like, two or even three thousand dollars.”

Soldiers were spotted wearing the Army’s “pink and green” uniform around the AUSA Conference in Washington this week, leading military leaders and national security reporters alike to praise the service for potentially adopting a new uniform that would not get the Army any closer to victory in Afghanistan.

Leaders across the force have praised the idea as an ‘original’ and ‘completely relevant’ change of pace.

“Everything looked better back then,” Sgt. Maj. John Blake told Duffel Blog. “And that’s the heart of the matter. If looks could kill, the Army back then would’ve been unstoppable.”

Other possible plans include replacing the M4 carbine with the M1 Garand, and swapping Abrams tanks for Shermans.

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