DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Mother Goose gives your weekend safety brief

mother goose

Hey! Private Diddle,
If it burns when you piddle,
Better see the Doc by noon;
The Corpsmen laughed
As they punched his bore
Diddle howled just like a baboon.

Hickory, dickory, dock,
This won’t end the way that you thought;
If you refuse NJP,
Soon you will see,
The Brig has got you on lock

There was an old stripper who didn’t look too bad
She had a few kids, on the prowl for a dad;
She gave up some tail to a new boot,
Now he has at the clap and she has the loot.

This little grunt hates field day
This little grunt hates pulling butts
This little grunt hates all POGS
This little grunt hates haircuts
This little grunt cried, “Wee, wee, wee!
My recruiter screwed me!
I wish I’d stayed home with my mom!”

Little Miss Muff,
Liked it a bit rough,
And often just gave it away.
But when she says no,
Even though she’s a hoe,
Your dumb ass had better obey.

One, two,
The UCMJ applies to you;
Three, four,
Can’t smoke dope no more;
Five, six,
Don’t be dicks;
Seven, eight,
You don’t rate;
Nine, ten,
Leave denied again;
Eleven, twelve,
Barracks looks like hell;
Thirteen, fourteen;
Underage drinking;
Fifteen, sixteen,
Duty NCO sleeping;
Seventeen, eighteen,
Shoulda checked her ID;
Nineteen, twenty,
NJP’s aplenty;
Thirty, forty,
Stick to your story!

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