Trump strikes back at San Juan Mayor, deports Puerto Rican troops back to Mexico

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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump escalated his feud against San Juan Mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz today, announcing that he would deport illegal Puerto Rican immigrants serving in the U.S. military back to Mexico “where they belong,” sources confirmed.

“These Puerto Ricans are pouring over the border in hordes,” said President Donald Trump, indicating a map of western Minnesota. “They’re taking jobs from true, patriotic Americans who want to serve their country.”

Trump announced the deportation order days after he railed against Cruz, who has criticized the federal government’s response after Hurricane Maria devastated Puerto Rico.

White House officials say that Puerto Ricans have been covertly infiltrating the U.S. military since at least 1898 in an effort to evade the customs and immigration service and gain citizenship.

Although only a tiny percentage of Americans ever serve their country in the armed forces, a much larger percentage claim to actively “support the troops,” which, by law, makes them more American than Puerto Rican illegals, officials said.

“Look, I love fajitas and chimichangas as much as the next guy,” said Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Ark.), referring to the popular Tex-Mex dishes. “But there’s plenty of opportunity for these hombres to mow lawns and grow tequila back south of the border.”

It’s not yet clear whether Trump will take action through executive order or seek support from Congress. But many veterans have expressed outrage at Puerto Ricans’ underhanded tactics in trying to bypass the system to gain citizenship.

“Ain’t no Puerto Ricans gonna come into my country and defend my rights,” said Jed Walker, who served six months in the Army before being discharged for Type-2 diabetes. “Not in my country. Not in my Army!”

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