All veterans know that returning to civilian life after the service can be tough. It’s even tougher to find a job that matches with the particular set of skills acquired while on active duty.
When T.J. Milner left the Marine Corps in 2012, he asked many of the same questions as other transitioning veterans. The one thing that he knew was he had a bulging lust to help others, and he wanted to be thanked for his service.
“Do I go to school? Do I get into the corporate world? Do I move to Tijuana and become a drug mule?” Milner asked himself. “I realized there had to be something more than the nine-to-five grind, that I needed others to thank me for my service to their bodily needs, just like they thanked me for my service to the country.”
Milner, now working as a male prostitute in Reno, Nevada, estimates that he’s been thanked for his service over 600 times in the past year. Some lucky ladies have even thanked him for his service half a dozen times in a single night.
“He ran his pole up my flag all night if you know what I mean,” said Gertrude Abington, a 68-year-old retiree. “And he didn’t even mind that I was on my knees during the national anthem, which he played on repeat on the clock radio in our motel.”
Milner says the diverse backgrounds of customers who have thanked him for his service makes him proud to be a member of the oldest profession.
“Black, white, mothers, fathers, sisters, pets. They’ve all thanked me for my service,” said Milner. “I do what I can to honor those that came before me, those that will come after, and especially the ones that come multiple times in succession.”
While Milner loves providing a service to regular Americans every day, he says one experience stands above the rest: “the 21-gun salute.”
“This one freaky Admiral’s wife just loved naval gunfire, so me and twenty of my old platoon-mates got together and sent her off with a bang,” he said. “Well, technically eighteen bangs and three blowjobs.”