WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former National Security Advisor and retired Army Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn has opened a new school to train the nation's next generation of spies to send unencrypted emails, hold meetings with foreign adversaries in public places, and talk on phones that are almost certainly being tapped by the NSA, sources confirmed today.

The Michael Flynn Center For Spies Who Can't Tradecraft Good, And Who Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too will teach a variety of courses designed to assist intelligence professionals struggling with tradecraft disabilities.

The training includes coursework on how to lie on your security clearance forms, the art of extraordinary rendition inside the United States, and tips on the best non-secure methods for contacting Russian officials.