Commander screams out first sergeant’s name during sex

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HILL AIR FORCE BASE, Utah — Half of the 86th Intelligence Squadron overheard their commander cry out the name of the unit’s first sergeant during climax with his wife, sources confirmed today.

“We all heard it and laughed for 30 minutes straight,” said Staff Sgt. Brian Seberns, an intelligence analyst who specializes in nuclear test sites and people getting it on.

The incident happened several hours into a squadron party over the weekend, where members of the unit were drinking and enjoying a good buzz. Col. Allen Murphy pulled his wife away to “check on his office” at one point, sources said.

Just minutes later, naked on a stack of unsigned enlisted performance reports, Murphy was playfully asked to ejaculate, and yelled “Roger that, first sergeant!”

The bond between commander and first sergeant is a sacred one, and it is not uncommon for one individual to come to rely on the other for everything.

Witnesses said Murphy and his wife emerged with bashful faces and a sweet stank. After a pause, Murphy spoke first, asking “who was next?” The joke was well received.

When asked to comment by several grinning co-workers, Master Sgt. Greg Talbot, the squadron first sergeant, said, “I hate this fucking unit.”


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