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Navy SEAL thrown off airplane, demoted to Navy SEL


NASHVILLE, Tenn. — The man who shot and killed Osama bin Laden in 2011 has been demoted by the Navy from SEAL (Sea-Air-Land) to SEL after he was kicked off an airliner for allegedly being too drunk to fly, sources confirmed today.

Naval Special Warfare Command stripped Robert O’Neill of his Trident warfare device just days after police responded to an incident at the Nashville airport, in which he was allegedly drunk and belligerent on a flight bound for Dallas, Texas. He was later removed from the plane.

“He may get away with plenty since he’s the SEAL who shot bin Laden, but in this case he failed to fall back on his training,” said Cmdr. Mike Williamson, a Navy spokesman, “Which requires that he regale the plane with highly-classified cool-guy stories and taking selfies with hot girls. He didn’t.”

He added: “Instead, he failed a basic tenet of what it means to be a SEAL and got kicked off an airliner, which is why we stripped him of his ‘A’ for Air.”

Before the flight, the former SEAL Team 6 operator had just finished giving a talk at the Conservative Political Action Conference, a well-known Washington beltway comedy club with an eight-drink minimum.

A spokeswoman for American Airlines stressed the airline was often accommodating of O’Neill, but his behavior in this instance had gone too far.

“This time he was simply too intoxicated, which is really saying something, considering the legal blood-alcohol limit in Nashville is like, 4.3,” said Sarah Ferguson, spokeswoman for American Airlines.

O’Neill declined to comment on the incident to reporters, since he was in the process of finalizing a book manuscript about the incident in question.

Paul Sharpe and Danger Close contributed reporting.

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