This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
BREAKING: You need to report for a 'random' urinalysis
YOUR BASE — Sources at the base headquarters office are reporting that you and everyone else in your unit are to report immediately to the base fitness center for what they are calling a 'random’ urinalysis just one day after the well-known 4/20 date celebrated by marijuana enthusiasts, sources confirmed today.
Defense officials noted that they picked this date through a complicated, totally arbitrary process, that had nothing to do with the historical significance of the day prior and its connection to cannabis consumption.
“We figured that since some members were selected at random, we would select the remaining other members completely at random as well,” your commanding officer told reporters.
More Stories
First-generation American pilot excited to give family free ride on deportation flight
Medal of Dishonor
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Hegseth tired of looking at all these limp dicks in Pentagon locker room
Whiskey Fueled Tirade
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25 years after 9/11, America still processing events normally
Duffel Blog Staff
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Opinion: How I learned to stop worrying and love my low testosterone
SECDEF_Nice
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West Point removes ‘honor’ from ‘duty, honor, country’ ethos
Duffel Blog Staff
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Troops receive citizenship upgrade, spouses still eligible for deportation
Red Friday
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