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DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Ayn Rand gives your weekend safety brief

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I do not know why you all look to me to give you direction for your weekend activities, much less your lives. Had I the choice, I would remove the shackles the lieutenant has placed upon me concerning your lives, and indeed, those of him upon me.

Sir, are these men and women not motivated to keep safe by their own interest? What strength have my cautions against their own instinct of self-preservation? Further, how might you defend your insistence to the troops in avoiding the excess of alcohol, while your Facebook account shows you naked and drunk during your stay at the Academy?

Alas, the detestable authority over me forces my hand.

Men, women, Marines: as you decide the course your weekend shall take you, make choices by your own free will, and serve neither master nor god. Satisfy your urges for drink (though, preferably, without excess exuberance), and consider with appropriate conscionability your willingness to drive thereafter. Do not compel another individual to satisfy your sexual urges. Rather, seek consent; the freedom of choice. Upon reaching agreeable terms for intercourse (whether for mutual enjoyment or a monetary sum), weigh your own risk of acquiring a sexually transmitted disease.

But the question is not what will I let you do; it’s who is going to stop you? This payday weekend, remember that money is but a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it does not replace you as the driver. You can evade reality during liberty, but you cannot avoid the consequences when you stand in front of the sergeant major.

Failure to account for a risk is the definition of idiocy. Should you return on Monday morning a cripple, rapist, or herpetic, you will have made yourself a fool, thus committing the greatest evil upon yourself.

Then I will make my disdain for you clear: I will put you forward for NJP, and end my unwanted involvement in your affairs.

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