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Policeman very impressed by drunk driver’s ‘I Served’ bumper sticker

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STAFFORD COUNTY, Va. — Sheriff’s Deputy Beau Quarles says he was “really impressed” with a local veteran’s “I served” bumper sticker, later calling it “humbling,” “eye-opening,” and “a damn shame I had to taze [the driver] so many times,” sources confirmed today.

Quarles was first alerted to the bumper sticker by a civilian complaint of a driver swerving erratically along State Route 110 around midnight Friday night. Arriving at the scene, Quarles identified a blue Ford F-150 half-parked between the shoulder and far-right lanes of the highway. Both the interior and exterior lights were on when Quarles approached, and the driver’s door was cracked open.

“I shone my flashlight toward the vehicle, and that’s when I saw it,” Quarles told reporters. “It had the words ‘I Served’ in big white letters, superimposed over the outline of Afghanistan, with a black, red, and green background.”

“It really made me stop and think about the level of duty, dedication, and selfless service of all those who took the oath,” says Quarles. “When I asked the driver to take the keys out of the ignition and he handed me his sunglasses, I knew I was dealing with a true American hero.”

Quarles also reported that the driver fell to the ground after being asked to step out of the vehicle.

“It was truly humbling to encounter a man who loves this country so much that he would fall flat on his face to kiss its soil,” reported Quarles.

“Even when he took a swing at me, then tripped over his own feet trying to run away, I couldn’t help but admire his fighting spirit, just a little bit.”

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