DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: 15 questions for your new interpreter


2. Why are you 3 hours late?

3. Wait, you were just a goat farmer yesterday?

4. Jesus Christ, what do you mean you need to get back to your goats?

5. No, I don’t want a goat, will you just get in the damn truck?

6. Does anybody know where the hell we got this guy from?

7. No sir, we are still five mikes out. Did you know he was a goat farmer?

8. Why can’t you get out of the truck?

9. You don’t think I know it’s dangerous here?

10. Will you just put your helmet on, so we can go talk to this guy?

11. Is this man an insurgent?

12. What do you mean “what is an insurgent?”

13. I don’t feel like I am yelling at you, do you feel like I am yelling at you?

14. What the hell, you’re quitting???

15. (To self, roughly two weeks later): Wait, why is my old interpreter shooting at us?


DeadEar, who formerly goes by Clay Beyersdorfer, is a former POGUE (ahem..), Public Affairs NCO, of the United States Army. For six years he wrote, shot and made the Department of Defense look good, until he was struck by a roadside bomb in Afghanistan in 2014, leaving him deaf in one ear. You can usually find him standing in line at the VA screaming himself hoarse, enjoying really cheap beer, or on Twitter @TonOfClayton.