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INSPIRING! This man left the Air Force as an E-6 and joined the Marines as an E-2

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PARRIS ISLAND, S.C. — Citing his desire “do something different,” an Air Force technical sergeant has inspired the enlisted ranks by leaving his parent service to join the Marines as a private first class.

“I realized what I needed in my life was more bullshit and less money,” Recruit Theodore Palaiologos told reporters right after getting smoked by his drill instructors at Marine Corps Recruit Depot Parris Island. “I got tired of the high quality of life and shiny new equipment.”

“Something had to change,” he added.

Palaiologos, often addressed by his DIs as “shitbird,” “fuckstick,” or “Paleo” due to his name and age, originally enlisted in the Air Force at age 17 to seek adventure and opportunity as a combat controller. During his eight years of service, he underwent some of the most rigorous and elite training the military has to offer, deployed with the SEALs and Special Forces, and enjoyed various incentive pays. Furthermore, he was allowed to move off-base as an E-4.

Despite all this, Palaiologos says he “did a lot of soul-searching and realized there had to be something more out there,” so he decided to leave the Air Force for drier pastures.

After being discharged, “Paleo” was still young enough to join the Corps, so he elected to exchange his scarlet beret for the Eagle, Globe, and Anchor.

Upon getting to his first duty station, this veteran of six deployments will find himself living in a condemned barracks instead of a house, picking up cigarette butts instead of jumping out of airplanes, and getting called a “boot” by lance corporals who don’t have half the training he does.

In spite of losing his old privileges and starting at the bottom of another totem pole, “Paleo” is looking to join a high-speed unit like Force Recon or the Marine Raiders when the opportunity presents itself.

“I won’t be at square one for long,” he says optimistically. “I’ll get my old rank back in no time.”

At press time, some of Palaiologos’ fellow recruits say he secretly joined the Corps so he could wear the coveted Marine Blues Dress Uniform and “finally get laid.”

UPDATE: Months after this was written, now-Pfc. Palaiologos has graduated boot camp. He has changed his employment on Facebook to “Marine Corps Recruiting” and shared numerous motivational memes about being a Marine. Palailogos was last spotted in the food court, carrying a USMC backpack and standing at parade rest with his civilian pants bloused while several lance corporals openly ridiculed him.

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3 Comments

  1. OMG are you seriously gonna tell me that this was ok,LMAO wow I know for a fact if it was an enlistee and not an officer this would have gone a totally different way and being a 1st LT. i’m guessing he has no combat experience at all in a combat zone so he should have never of had any voices in his dumbass head LMAO! Can someone say UCMJ field grade article 15 and dishonorable discharge because I know that that’s what he should be getting oh and I use to be regular ARMY and this wouldn’t fly there, god damn nasty girls always getting babied as usual, I think i’m gonna reenlist and take out a m 109 artillery palatyn out for a joy ride and direct fire right after I here the voices telling me to, LMAO. what a bunch of weak ass people in that chain of command and it’s only because he is an officer and the one that gave him a brake on the ordeal is an officer, there always sucking each other off LMAO!!!!

  2. While this is satire, there was a program called “Blue to Green”, because of a manning overage in the Air Force, and a shortage in the Army.
    I was a prior Army Infantry, and was serving as a Air base Ground Defense instructor, so I knew many Army instructors involved in training these prior AF troops.
    The Army instructors said one of their problems was they didn’t know how to train intelligent people.
    They would have a whole day slotted for the TA 312 field phone. In a hour the Air Force guys learned all they needed (including tomorrows class on the SB-22), and in a few hours they were figuring out how to take apart several broken ones to make a few working ones. By the end of the day they were using them to light cigarettes, recharge their cell phones and turned the whole field wire communication system into something resembling high speed internet.
    I think by day two they were stealing cable TV and hacked the codes needed to unlock the porn channels using a tactical field phone system.

    • oh bull crap LMAO you need a computer igneous to accomplish hacking crap and a computer system that’s capable of this lol and the whole lighting cigs and all the rest is all normal electronics you learn in high school or in trade school, alls you need is one electrician to pull it off LMAO!!!!

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