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Trump, Kim agree to historic summit as long as McDonald’s brings back McRib sandwich

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WASHINGTON — Although there have been questions over whether an upcoming summit between the top leaders of the United States and North Korea would take place, officials from both countries say their meeting in Singapore will go forward as long as McDonald’s brings back the McRib sandwich, sources confirmed today.

“The McRib essentially represents the flavors of both nations — a beacon of hope,” said Army Maj. Trevor Senseman, a ‘Korea expert’ who hid on the peninsula for several years hooking up with Korean girls and trying to avoid a deployment to Afghanistan.

“It’s the perfect symbol of harmony when you think about it. Grilled ribs, or galbi, is a favorite Korean dish, and nothing is more American than barbecue sauce.”

Rumors about joint interest in the sandwich emerged after Secretary of State Mike Pompeo met North Korean leader Kim Jogn-un earlier this year in Pyongyang. In a classified conversation that leaked just like everything else in this administration, Pompeo was rumored to have been laying out steps both leaders could take to ensure a relaunch of the delectable McDonald’s dish.

Critics note, however, that it would mean Trump was conspiring with a North Korean dictator.

“This collusion is an absolute outrage,” said Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), the House Minority Leader with known ties to Burger King. “If two world leaders are scripting threats to strong-arm the release of a sandwich inferior to the BK Rodeo Burger, they ought to be impeached.”

A McDonald’s spokesperson refused to confirm or deny whether or not they were engaged in official discussions to bring back the McRib, but assured reporters that they remain committed to satisfying their customers all around the world, preferably in an atmosphere relatively free from nuclear fallout.

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1 Comments

  1. Savage. Kim’s going to sweeten the deal by throwing in a couple of 6 ft tall Russian hookers for Trump for a discount price of 10% off the usual $130K per that the Art of The Deal Master usually pays for highly used pussy. Any liquid ops will be extra though.

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