Marine who says combat is a drug hasn’t tried either


U.S. Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Avraham B. Fried performs knife techniques while participating in the Marine Corps Martial Arts Program during Lance Corporal Seminar 1-19 at Marine Corps Outlying Field (MCOLF) Atlantic, North Carolina Oct. 18, 2018. 2nd Low Altitude Air Defense (LAAD) Battalion hosted the course at MCOLF Atlantic, making it the first time 2nd LAAD held the seminar in a field environment. Fried is an air crew mechanic with Marine Aerial Refueler Transport Squadron 252, Marine Aircraft Group 14, 2nd Marine Aircraft Wing. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Cody J. Ohira)

EVANSVILLE, Ind. — A Marine Corps lance corporal informed friends that he was deploying again because combat was like a drug, despite the fact that he has never tried drugs or combat, sources confirmed today.

Lance Cpl. Alex Grayson, the one Marine who joined without lying about trying pot, just once, likened his experiences in Kuwait two years ago as something addictive and wonderful, which he’s pretty sure drugs are.

“You know, roasting your first enemy is a lot like dropping your first joint,” Grayson told friends on home leave. “Combat? It’s terrifying, but then you just want to get back and and get the scores again, you know?”

“Man, Alex is really different since he joined the Corps,” said Brad Greiner, Alex’s best friend from high school. “He wouldn’t even try a beer in high school because he wasn’t 21 and didn’t want to disrespect the Marine Corps t-shirt he bought for himself in 10th grade.” Brad said as he took a deep drag from his joint.

Grayson told friends about his desire to “get a high off survival” over a round of drinks he paid for in anticipation of tax-free hazardous duty pay. “You just want that same upsy feeling again. That thing you can only get from like, ripping the shits in combat or utilizing drugs.”

It’s unclear where Grayson believes he experienced combat in his previous tour to Kuwait, where he mostly checked IDs at an entry control point. However, sources close to Grayson report, he watches Full Metal Jacket alone in his hooch at least once a week.


blondesoverbaghdad
BlondesOverBaghdad always lets someone else have the top block, because that's the selfless service thing to do. She'll go to Ranger School as soon as there's a 2-beer per day policy. @BlondsOvrBaghd on Twitter.
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