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This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Situation Report
LOS ANGELES — The California National Guard has declassified a top secret cryptologic program today that played a significant role in the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria.
The Bro-Code Talkers schoolhouse was established in 2008 on UCLA’s fraternity row after the Army expressed a need to develop greater cryptologic defenses in the face of rising great power competition from Russia and China. Bro-Code Talkers embedded as radiomen with combat units to transmit messages through common phrases and concepts from the West Coast fraternity lifestyle, which is undecipherable to outsiders. The Middle Eastern conflicts served as a proof of concept to test the program’s viability.
“Me and my sergeants just wanted baller pledges we could kickback with,” explained the unit’s founder, Col. Kiefer Brodie, ripping a fat cloud from his juul. “None of those weak boners, like the Fall ’09 class, who narced when we hazed them. Or that kid who died from alcohol poisoning during last year’s rush. That kid sucked.”
The now declassified report translates several examples of the “brocabulary,” which played a key role in the successful execution of thousands of counter-terrorism missions. An expression like “cracking a cold one with the boys,” implies a directive for friendlies to pop smoke during close air support engagements. “Tapping the keg,” is code for a convoy replenishment of food and supplies. “Do you know who my father is?” constitutes a request to speak to higher-ups at battalion headquarters.
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