FORT LEAVENWORTH, Kan. — Senior Army officers and enlisted service members called for “disruptive thinkers” to come forward, so that they can more easily be identified and marginalized or even murdered, sources confirmed today.
In the “Disruptive Thinkers” seminar, a select group of senior non-commissioned officers and commissioned officers of all ranks listened to Gen. Mark Milley, chief of staff of the Army, address the crowd and speak about the importance of identifying disruptive thinkers.
“It’s of vital importance to identify you and the others among our ranks who have a good idea about how better to manage our promotion systems, our tactical doctrine, our technical training, and even the way we interact with the other instruments of government power,” said Milley, nodding curtly to the back of the room.
His personal security detail then locked the doors to the room and began the slaughter.
Other senior leaders, both currently active and retired, applaud the Army’s efforts to identify disruptive thinkers.
“I myself made a great effort to identify those officers in my command who were disruptive,” said retired Brig. Gen. William King, who before retiring led 20th Support Command ALL BY HIMSELF!
“It’s crucial to winnow the chaff from the wheat and then make sure the wheat gets cut down and made into white bread,” he said. “That’s the whole reason I was such an effective leader that I managed to disseminate anthrax and ricin to the general public over fifty times!”
Reached for comment, spokesmen for the Army general staff confirmed that disruptive thinkers are indeed a critical asset who must be quickly identified and disposed of, otherwise the Army might start winning wars, and nobody wants that.