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Lieutenant goes missing after chewing out command sergeant major

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CAMP HUMPHREYS, Korea – Alpha Company soldiers and military police are still searching for 2nd Lt. Trevor Senseman after he reportedly ordered the brigade command sergeant major to stand at the position of attention before addressing him, sources confirmed today.

“No one has seen or heard from him in three days,” said Capt. Andrew Upshaw, the Alpha Company commander. “I know every LT has their screw-ups, but this? Not good.”

Upshaw is currently due to change out of command in three weeks, but the date could be pushed until his company executive officer’s whereabouts are determined.

The situation unfolded during ‘Motor Pool Monday’ when brigade Sgt. Maj. Billy Jackson paid an unannounced visit to greet and observe soldiers, according to sources.

“We scrambled around the second we saw him,” said Sgt. Dan Parsons, “but he waved and told us to carry on. He was drinking coffee out of a ceramic mug and just wanted to get away from the flagpole.”

Motor pool ops eventually returned to normal until 2nd Lt. Trevor Senseman confronted the sergeant major. Senseman approached Jackson and demanded confirmation on whether enlisted soldiers still had to salute officers.

“The pucker factor was off the charts,” Parsons said. “The sad part is we have a giant ‘No Hat, No Salute Zone’ sign posted in our AO.”

Jackson reportedly smirked as the second lieutenant continued shouting. That’s when the lieutenant told him to ‘lock it up.’

Sources say the sergeant major polished off his coffee, clicked his heels together, and rendered a salute with a loud, ‘Sir, forgive me, sir!’

“I’m a captain,” said Upshaw. “I’ve paid enough dues to get away with being a passive aggressive smartass to a sergeant major, but hemming one up? I still wouldn’t go there.”

All soldiers who witnessed the exchange claimed the confrontation appeared to be over. However, when Senseman failed to report for duty after lunch, soldiers started to speculate that his absence might be connected to Jackson.

“I thought, maybe Trevor’s at a dental appointment,” said Upshaw, “but I noticed the orderly room soldiers were more unsettled than usual. They told me what happened.”

With the help of his first sergeant, Upshaw brokered a meeting with specialists rumored to be active leaders in the local E-4 Mafia. The specialists offered no inside information despite offers of four-day passes and additional duty exemptions. They also declined to accept any concessions in exchange for their support, claiming the well-being of one lieutenant wasn’t worth risk of retaliation from the small but powerful E-9 Clan.

Jackson refused to speak with reporters but replied in an email that “Senseman wouldn’t be the second lieutenant to have wandered off and gotten lost and likely won’t be the last.”

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