SAN DIEGO — Disney is ready to sprinkle some magic over future Navy deployments.
The Navy plans to plus up its fleet over the next five years, but its manpower goals may as well be ‘to infinity and beyond.’ Even significant efforts aimed at immigrant and transgender communities failed to move the recruitment needle, but senior leadership hopes Disney holds the key to drawing and keeping the necessary personnel.
“Industry partnerships are critical to rebuilding readiness, and bored sailors just aren’t as interested in hookers anymore. Disney can help us tackle both issues,” said Navy spokesman Cmdr. Anthony Bellin.
Disney executives touted the partnership as an opportunity to serve America’s heroes and responsibly dispose of ships no longer fit for paying customers.
The groundbreaking deal includes ten recently condemned cruise liners that the Navy can retrofit with directed energy weapons and an Avengers-themed Chief’s Mess. Approximately 20% of new naval vessels will include Disney branding and amenities, such as chow with a Disney princess and flight deck runs with a CGI version of Mr. Incredible.
Chief of Naval Operations Adm. John Richardson acknowledged challenges to balancing a world class vacation vibe with national security goals.
“Activities that do not directly increase lethality, like the Wreck-it Ralph karaoke shack, will shut down during threat engagement in order to minimize distractions and critical power loads,” he said.
Sailors can add extra months to their “Disney Fun Deployment” passes at a military discount. E-5’s and above can purchase weeklong family passes for dependents. The first three ships will head to Pacific Fleet headquarters in Hawaii by December 2019.
Machinery Repairman 1st Class Shawn VanDiver was excited to re-enlist after hearing the news.
“I’m a single dad and was looking to get out, but now my son can deploy with me over winter break. We’re gonna have breakfast with Moana every day. Deployments are about to get lit!”