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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Tuesday, 29 September 2026

Air & Space

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

White House says redesign projects discipline, strength and “absolutely no historical parallels”

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

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Vol. 15 · No. 116

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Deployed worldwide

Tuesday

29 September 2026

0708 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

← Front page
· Page 2

Sailor can’t pee unless someone is watching

Filed · 1553

SAN DIEGO — Retiring Chief Petty Officer Joe Andrews hasn’t peed without someone watching him in 22 years and isn’t about to start now.

“At first, I thought all the meat gazing was weird,” said Andrews. “Now, after all this time in the Navy, I went from not being able to piss with someone watching to not being able to piss without someone watching.”

Andrews told fellow sailors at the his retirement party that he’s not sure how he’s going to piss without someone making eye contact with his one-eyed monster.

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