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Tekashi 6ix9ine named as whistleblower on Trump-Ukraine

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WASHINGTON — The White House search to identify a CIA whistleblower linked to the current Trump-Ukraine-Biden scandal has taken a surprising twist. Rapper Daniel Hernandez, aka Tekashi 6ix9ine, has admitted that he is the whistleblower.

“Yeah, I blew the whistle,” said Hernandez, “but it was Trump who was trying to get Ukraine to mess with Biden, and Biden wasn’t too innocent either. They’re the ones you should all be after.”

Hernandez’s ties to the CIA and President Trump have baffled many, but his never-ending marathon of snitching revealed details on how his former gang, the Nine Trey Gangsters, planned to partner with America’s top spy agency to fund part of Trump’s border wall through illicit activity. As an American born citizen of Mexican heritage, Hernandez felt compelled to expose President Trump by snitching about anything and everything he possibly could.

Already facing an impeachment inquiry for allegedly pressuring Ukraine into investigating Biden’s corruption, sources say Trump was livid upon learning that Hernandez had ratted him out; it wasn’t long before the President took to Twitter.

While CIA Director Gina Haspel refused to confirm or deny Hernandez’s links to the spy agency or any alleged plans to fund the border wall through criminal activity, she did affirm that the agency remains committed to protecting America and its interests from both adversaries and snitches.

“Always remember that snitches get stitches,” said Haspel, “and eventually end up in ditches.”

Photo credit: B. Curry

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