Heavy CG: New Coast Guard weight rules make other services jealous
CAPE MAY, N.J. — The Coast Guard’s newly adopted weight standards will allow members to be just fat enough to make people from other services jealous and wish they joined the Coast Guard, service officials said Tuesday.
One of the main reasons behind the new standards is the the Coast Guard wishes to remain the foremost subject of envy from other military services. Especially with Coast Guard personnel being able to spend more time closer to their families, they figured they might as well give other branches another reason to resent their very existence.
In the initial program, the max waist measurement for men will be a hefty but fair 50 inches, and the maximum for women will be a pleasantly plump 48 inches, said Cdr. Bill Samp, chief of the Coast Guard's Policy and Standards Division.
"We found that we were just not happy with our members getting kicked out over arbitrary and strenuous rules when it came to body fat percentage," he said, dipping his Five Guys burger in lard. “It’s just…
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Duffel Blog to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.