Ghost of U.S. Grant pisses on main gate of Fort Lee
FORT LEE, Virginia – Garrison and area residents are marveling at the specter of Gen. Ulysses S. Grant urinating on the main gate of this post in what is being called “the Civil War’s first live streaming event.”
According to local paranormal investigator Helen “Velma” Martinson, Grant’s ghost began his ethereal number one on the main Fort Lee gate with a shower that lasted over 10 minutes on June 6, the day that the Marine Corps banned Confederate flags. “It was like he'd been holding it for 100 years,” said Martinson.
Grant’s ghost has been amazingly vocal. “I got tired of waiting for Army leaders to wake up and smell the hardtack and pick a better name for this place,” he said. “Lee was a complete dick. He fought a rebellion for the right to hold slaves forever. He also stiffed me on a big bar tab in 1865.”
Martinson said Grant wondered why Army leaders could not find another Virginia-born military hero for the base’s name. Fort Lee historian Todd Andrews stated that legitimate heroes…
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