Grand Theft Auto Fort Hood ‘a little too realistic’


KILLEEN, Texas — After a week of beta testing, the Army’s E-Sports gaming team has reported that the Fort Hood version of the newest installment of the wildly popular Grand Theft Auto videogame, GTA: Fort Hood is “a little too realistic.”

GTA’s creators say they were trying to create “a more authentic experience” for modern gamers.

“We see how well the Call of Duty franchise does when they release a new military focused video game, so we wanted to try our hand at it,” said Alex Marrero, lead developer. “We’ve found over the years that our customers love being able to commit murder, buy and sell narcotics, launder money and even kill the occasional hooker.”

“With all the stuff in the news about Fort Hood in recent months, we assumed leaders there were trying to see if they could raise their ‘wanted level’ to 5 stars, like in the game” said Marrero. “This inspired us.”

“It honestly didn’t take too much work to make the current game more like Fort Hood. Just had to alter some of the map coding a little bit.”

E-Sports soldiers have given the game mixed reviews reg

“I dig it!” says Sgt. Joshua Wills. “The original version of the game was pretty awesome, but they really nailed it with this one. I don’t even have to worry about UCMJ charges when I run over a dependa in the PX parking lot in the game.

“Not that I’d have to worry about getting punished at Fort Hood, either.” he added.

Other members have a more negative opinion about the game.

“It’s pretty graphic and disgusting to be honest,” said Capt. Ryan Burton, commanding officer of the E-Sports team. “And fake. There’s no way the Army would allow this many crimes to go unpunished, right?”

Burton continued, “I mean, it’s not even realistic, the government would definitely do something after just a few deaths, wouldn’t they? Not to mention all the lesser crimes. Either way, I’m sure every single officer at Fort Hood has done everything in their power to make ‘Fort Hood great again’, I mean, ‘the great place again.'”

Video game enthusiasts can expect the new GTA to hit shelves in early 2021. AAFES has not announced if it will carry the product.


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