12 Air Force analysts accuse F-35 of assault on Pentagon budget
PENTAGON — Amid a wave of sexual assault allegations emerging in both politics and the entertainment industry, 12 Air Force budget analysts have come forward and accused the F-35 of assault on the Pentagon's budget, Duffel Blog has learned.
"I did not consent to a $40 million Pitot tube," Airman First Class Jerome Roberts said. "But when I opened up my spreadsheet the next day, there it was, signed off by every four-star general in the Air Force."
The accusations have sent shockwaves through the airplane's development cycle, and its Netflix show has already been cancelled. The plane itself, however, will be allowed to keep the $1.5 trillion it has accrued over its career, and currently no charges have been filed.
"The F-35 asked me if I wanted to watch while it vectored its thrust," said Technical Sgt. Sara Reynolds, one of the first victims to come forward. "It was disgusting."
"When the F-35 offered to not strangle its pilots only if I rubbed its radar array, I tried to stand up for mys…
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