2016 GOP Candidates Strengthen Foreign Policy Credentials By Watching 'American Sniper'
DES MOINES, Iowa — With the 2016 Presidential race heating up, leading Republican candidates recently spent time bolstering their foreign policy credentials with a 134 minute long, Academy Award winning Iraq strategy session directed by Clint Eastwood.
Flannel pajamas on and sleeping bags in hand, Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, Jeb Bush, and Ben Carson spent a recent evening sleeping over in a local donor's "sick" home theater.
According to housekeeping staff who witnessed the session, Carson told the others, "The rest of you guys better shut the fuck up while this is playing. I actually need to learn something here. I certainly didn't get offered a scholarship to West Point for my knowledge of the sand filled, ass backwards hell hole that is the Middle East."
The tense opening scene in which Navy SEAL Chris Kyle—portrayed by Bradley Cooper—debates shooting an Iraqi woman and her son reportedly caused a debate about why an elite special operations warrior would ever hesitate to pull the trigger.
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