2nd Lieutenant lectures Sgt. Maj. on leadership

FORT BRAGG, N.C. — That new second lieutenant in your unit is lecturing the division sergeant major on leadership again, sources report.

Lt. Ben Bowman reportedly cornered his sergeant major in the locker room after physical training. Blocking the door as he knelt down to blouse his boots, Bowman explained leadership while holding Merset hostage.

“You can’t say you’re a leader in the Army without reading the entirety of the Chief of Staff’s professional reading list,” Bowman told his sergeant major. “I mean, seriously. It was Brzezinksi’s Strategic Vision: America and the Crisis of Global Power that really helped me to take control of my emotions and get through weeks of minimal food and sleep at Ranger School, after all.”

Merset appeared unamused, and he attempted to leave the locker room. But just as Merset dodged Bowman for the door, Bowman pivoted, swinging his tush toward the door and obstructing Merset’s pathway to freedom.

Lieutenant Bowman is a graduate of the Infantry Basic Course and holds a degree in criminal justice from James Madison University. He passed Ranger School two weeks ago, after recycling both “mountains” and “the Florida phase.” When he’s not wearing it, he uses his tab as a bookmark in his Ranger Handbook.

Sergeant Major Merset has served in the Army for more than 22 years, with multiple tours in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Niger. He was awarded a Silver Star in Iraq in 2007 for maneuvering his squad through withering gunfire, leading them back to a command post over two kilometers away. He is combat dive, Ranger, and jump-master qualified. And he is a sergeant major for a two-star command.

“So anyways, I published a very neat article you should read about my ranger school experience,” Lt. Bowman concluded, “I’ll send it to you on Outlook.”

Addison Blu and Paul J. OLeary contributed reporting.