46 nebulous concepts to declare war on now that terrorism is defeated
So many great options.
By Cat Astronaut
Communism…Wait, we already did that one
Those meddling kids
Any doctrinal concept developed by the Department of Defense
Drugs...Wait, we already did that one, too
Wars on Terrorism
Wars on Wars on Terrorism
Wars on Anti-Terrorism
Crime…That one, too, huh?
The Münchhausen Trilemma
That feeling you get when you go into another room to get something but then you forget what it was until you go back to where you were and sit down again
The F-35 Joint Strike Fighter
The Deep State
Christmas (Many sources claim this war has been ongoing for decades, but the U.S. officially denies involvement)
Wars on Christmas (See comment above. Sources claim the entire War on the War on Christmas is a CIA front meant to perpetuate the Deep State’s War on Christmas)
Anything including the word “Cyber”
Poverty…What? We already did that one, too?
Cyberspace-crime (Technically covered by “Anything including the word ‘Cyber’”)
Cyberghosts (See comment above)
Fascism… We already did that one, but it could be fun to give it another go
Anthropomorphic Crime-fighting Sharks
Anthropomorphic Cybercrime-fighting Sharks (See comment above)
King George III
Anything written by James Joyce
Ah, fuck it, let’s just go to war with terrorism again.
Cat Astronaut is a demobilized mobile infantryman and the creator of Ye Olde Tyme News. Scuttlebutt and Rock or Something contributed reporting.