By Cat Astronaut

Evil

Bad Guys

Supervillainy

Capitalism

Socialism

Marxism

Communism…Wait, we already did that one

Magic

Ghosts

Skullduggery

Those meddling kids

Multi-Domain Operations

Network-Centric Warfare

Any doctrinal concept developed by the Department of Defense

Sin

Anti-Terrorism

Wars

Drugs...Wait, we already did that one, too

Wars on Terrorism

Wars on Wars on Terrorism

Wars on Anti-Terrorism

Crime…That one, too, huh?

Space Ghosts

Bayesian Inference

The Münchhausen Trilemma 

That feeling you get when you go into another room to get something but then you forget what it was until you go back to where you were and sit down again

The F-35 Joint Strike Fighter

The Deep State

Christmas (Many sources claim this war has been ongoing for decades, but the U.S. officially denies involvement)

Wars on Christmas (See comment above. Sources claim the entire War on the War on Christmas is a CIA front meant to perpetuate the Deep State’s War on Christmas)

Anything including the word “Cyber”

Poverty…What? We already did that one, too?

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Necromancy

Space-time

Space-crime

Cyberspace-crime (Technically covered by “Anything including the word ‘Cyber’”)

Cyberghosts (See comment above)

Fascism… We already did that one, but it could be fun to give it another go

Solipsism

Big Tech

Anthropomorphic Crime-fighting Sharks

Anthropomorphic Cybercrime-fighting Sharks (See comment above)

King George III

Dat Ass

Nebulas

Sterile Neutrinos

Ghosts, Underwater/Amphibious

Anything written by James Joyce

Ah, fuck it, let’s just go to war with terrorism again.

Cat Astronaut is a demobilized mobile infantryman and the creator of Ye Olde Tyme News. Scuttlebutt and Rock or Something contributed reporting.

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