6 surefire ways to determine whether your Chief Petty Officer is actually a vampire
The chief seems really suspicious.
UNDERWAY ON THE USS KEARSARGE — You know him, you love him, you hate him. He’s your Chief Petty Officer! But you’ve been underway for a while now and things are starting to seem a little batty. Here are six surefire ways to tell if your Chief has become a bonafide creature of the night.
1. He spends all day in his coffin rack.
You’re pretty sure the General Quarters drill ended a few hours ago but for some reason, the Chief is still snoozing away in his berthing. Dracula couldn’t get through the night without being near the Transylvanian soil stashed away in his casket. Maybe that stack of bootleg DVDs the Chief keeps in his coffin rack is actually the source of his power. Whatever the cause, he looks plenty rested while you have to hot rack with the Undesignated Seaman in charge of cleaning up after whoever keeps pooping in the well deck.
2. You never see him topside for working parties.
Sweepers sweepers, man your brooms! The sun is shining and there’s a police call goi…
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