83% of troops support direct action in escalating Chip-Swipe conflict

WASHINGTON – A recent poll conducted by Gallup found that 83% of active military service members support direct action in resolving the escalating chip and swipe conflict.

“Are we chipping or swiping, because I feel stupid as fuck," said Petty Officer Brandon Sweeney, echoing a common sentiment across the military. “I’m ready to throat punch every cashie…