By An A-10

Well kid, you did it. You served your country, fought the good fight, and now it sounds like you’re off to greener pastures. But wow, what a ride, huh, buddy? You’ve kicked ass, Strike Eagle, and now you’ve earned a little R & R.

What’s that? You’re not the F-15E? Oh. What’s an F-22? A Raptor? Who named you, an 8-year-old? BRRRRRRT!

Just jokin’. Don’t take it so personal, kid. You did all right. You flew a lot of high-altitude missions. Like, real high. Not sure I ever saw you outside the training range at Nellis or maybe Northern Edge in Alaska. I know you did some fighting. I probably just couldn’t see you since I was so close to the ground where the action was and you were way up there in the sky.

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But those troops, I’m sure they appreciated everything you’ve done for them over the past, what, 30 years or so?

Say that again? 16 years? You only reached initial operational capacity 16 years ago? Are you fucking kidding me? You’re not even old enough to drink yet and you’re alrea…