'Act Of Valor' Targets Exact Recruitment Demographic For Navy SEALs
CORONADO, CA — Inspired by the movie Act of Valor, aspiring actors and theater majors have been volunteering in droves for Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL (BUD/S), reported Navy Recruiting Command today.
“The movie has attracted a lot of attention seeking, narsisisstic douchebags who want to see themselves on the big screen,” said Chief William Davis, a BUD/S instructor. “And that’s exactly the type of people we’re looking for in the SEALs. We spent years trying to find the right type of candidate and no matter how hard we tried, only 10% of our recruits would manage to make it through training. After the movie, our grad rate spiked up to 85%.”
“I’m training my future teammates,” said Davis, “and when I’m pinned down in a firefight and calling for backup, I want someone who’ll be able to say something cool over the radio before checking to make sure their helmet didn’t screw up their hair.”
“We train warriors here, no doubt about that,” Davis continued. “The class I’m teaching now is in…
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