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Afghan exchange student in US Army course gets b+ for planning mass killing of his classmates

FORT BENNING, GA — Capt. Mohammed (No Last Name), Afghanistan's first student to attend the U.S. Army Maneuver Captain's Career Course, has received a B+ on his capstone planning exercise, for what his instructors are hailing as an exceptional scheme to kill every single one of them in a mass shooting and subsequent bombings, sources confirmed today.

The exercise — dubbed 'Battle Forge' — is a grueling six-hour test which requires young company-grade officers to conduct all aspects of operational planning, then deliver a successful mission brief to their small group instructors while meeting a strict set of grading criteria.

"Mohammed, or Mo as the guys called him, was really impressive," said Maj. Tom Durwood, his small group instructor (SGI). "The way he planned to sweep the corridors of American officers using both a combination of small arms fire and funneling improvised explosive devices was just brilliant."

The Maneuver course is a necessary step for the progression of any junior officer, and an absolute must if that officer wishes to someday command a company of soldiers. Mohammed's attendance was hailed by both the U.S. and Afghan governments as a step towards reconciliation after a series of bitter diplomatic exchanges regarding both the U.S. military pull-out from their country, and subsequent unilateral negotiations with the Taliban in Qatar.

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