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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

2008 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Afghan task force will deploy to monitor U.S. election

Filed · 1549

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN — Officials in Afghanistan’s Independent Election Committee announced they are working closely with the United Nations to deploy teams of police and soldiers to the United States to provide oversight and monitoring services, and to help the U.S. secure its polling sites for the November elections.

"It is our duty ensure American citizens have a chance at a free and fair election,” Afghan President Ashraf Ghani told reporters from a blast-proof bunker at an undisclosed location near Kabul. “But we realize our advisors will have a difficult road ahead keeping peace on the violent streets of Portland and among the religious extremists of the Appalachian regions.”

“I’ve seen Deliverance.”

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