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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

0520 Zulu

Next edition Monday

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· Page 2

Afghan teen wondering whether to apply for college, or just enlist in Taliban

Filed · 1549

JALALABAD, Afghanistan – Jamil Ahmed Khogyani, a 17-year old high school senior, is wondering whether he should apply for college, or simply enlist in the Taliban after graduating this upcoming spring.

“I want to be the first in my family to go to college,” Jamil told the reporters as he stroked his platinum-white beard. “But I don’t know if I’m mature enough yet. On the other hand, If I’m going to enlist the Taliban, my dad says I should learn a trade like guarding a poppy field, or making IEDs like he did at my age in the mid-2000s.”

“Don’t tell him I said this, but that lifestyle took its toll on him. At 34, he’s starting to look pretty old.”

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