Lt. Gen. Christopher Bogdan jokes about how sequestration is screwing over the other services but not his.

ARLINGTON, VA — Air Force officials confirmed Monday that they would be grounding the entire Experimental Uniform fleet after problems were discovered on one of the zippers, the latest setback amid a string of recent disasters.

Test wearers first noticed the problem during a routine maintenance wear, while attempting to use the bathroom. When airmen noticed their futuristic pants zippers sometimes caught on their lower fuselage, sometimes pushing them to the point of asphyxiation.

"This is certainly not a problem that we could have seen in the planning stages," said Lt. Gen. Christopher Bogdan, the program manager.