NELLIS AFB, Nevada — The initial fielding of Air Force tactical robot dogs revealed a potentially critical glitch: The dogs are depressed by their unfulfillable need to lick their non-existent gonads.

On a recent exercise, robot dogs impressed observers with their capabilities to maneuver and provide information to human handlers, all without constantly stopping to sniff and urinate.

But Staff Sgt. Jessie Browning, a robot dog wrangler with the 622d Contingency Response Wing, noticed odd behavior in his programmed pooch “RobotSpot.”

“We finished a game called ‘IED fetch,’ and RoboSpot flopped onto his haunches, lifted a hind leg, and tried twisting his torso down towards his crotch,” Browning said. “There was real sadness in his big, glassy robot eye sensors when he realized he had no balls to lick.”