Air Force officer survives seven years of brutal online SERE training
JOINT BASE SAN ANTONIO, Texas — Air Force Lt. Jack McLane returned to his squadron today following a harrowing seven-year experience attempting to accomplish online SERE Training, Pentagon officials confirmed.
McLane, who initially signed into Joint Knowledge Online to accomplish a mandatory requirement prior to spending a four-day pass in Toronto, Canada, was soon sucked into a vortex of an online training portal which consumed nearly seven years of his life.
"Initially, I thought I'd spend an hour clicking through tabs, like I did with the annual Cybersecurity Challenge," McClane told reporters. "But I soon found myself sitting through endless videos and accomplishing pointless tests just to go on leave."
Over a period of seven years, during which he remained chained to the Dell laptop in his cubicle, McLane was forced to undergo torture most Americans could never comprehend — including clicking on edible plants in a virtual forest, healing his comrades' wounds with little more than a …
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