CREECH AIR FORCE BASE, Nev. — The Pentagon has directed the Air Force to retire all of its sexist “Unmanned Aerial Vehicles” and replace them with new gender-neutral UAVs after a series of internal complaints.

“How do we know it’s not a woman who’s not inside that drone?” asked Capt. Rachel Wilson, a UAV pilot. “Technically, I fly an Unwomanned Aerial Vehicle, so the current title of ‘unmanned’ is inaccurate at best.”