Al Qaeda's Jewish Accountant Starting To Get A Bit Worried
TIMBUKTU, MALI — The chief accountant for the Al Qaeda terrorist organization says he's starting to get "a bit worried" about his safety, sources confirmed today.
Murray Goldstein, 54, has taken care of the terror network's finances for nearly five years, replacing its previous accountant who spontaneously combusted in Peshawar.
"It's pretty hard doing what I do, but also very rewarding," said Goldstein, in a telephone interview from his office in Mali. "But I've been getting this feeling lately like my coworkers don't really like me that much."
Far from a fly-by-night operation, Al Qaeda has been adamant about keeping its books in line, requiring operatives to keep receipts for everything they purchase: Rice, meat, explosive materials, and their extensive libraries of extreme hardcore goat porn.
"One of our Arabian Peninsula commanders sent me this receipt that was all handwritten and was barely legible for some AK-47s," said Goldstein. "He was really sorry about it, but when I told him …
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