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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Friday, 25 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

25 September 2026

0558 Zulu

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← Front page
Army · Page 4

NFL promises not to exploit new player’s service with Army Rangers

Filed · 1542

PHILADELPHIA, Pa. — The NFL has announced plans to handle the Eagles’ signing of an Army Ranger in its usual, tasteful manner, as the league indicated it would not exploit his service in any way whatsoever, sources confirmed.

Telling reporters he was happy to learn the Eagles had signed former Army Capt. Alejandro Villanueva as a defensive end, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said the league would probably only show him with a couple of Army friends during the first game of the season.

"We’ll be careful not to overdo it," Goodell said. "Putting soldiers on TV will be a first for the NFL."

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