FORT BENNING, Ga. – They say that when you become an airborne ranger, it’s for life! This airborne ranger took it ALL THE WAY when he refused to accept a life-saving blood transfusion from a dirty, dirty leg, sources confirmed today. Hooah!
Army Spc. Ryan Collins, a graduate of the U.S. ARMY AIRBORNE SCHOOL, was so airborne! that when he took a bad landing, broke his leg, and started bleeding out, he motivated everyone around him by pulling out of consciousness long enough to say he’d only accept blood from an airborne-qualified soldier assigned to an airborne unit and receiving jump pay. No six jump chumps for this ranger!
“We wouldn’t usually accept yelling ‘Rangers lead the way’ as an advanced medical directive,” said Army doctor Lt. Col. Josh Malloy. “But woah, check out that motivation. He made me remember why I earned the tab.”
Collins was last seen on his way to Martin Army Community Hospital begging his medics to let him die in his jump boots rather than set the broken bone. He passed out again in the front leaning rest.