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'American Al Qaeda' spends entire jihad making phone calls, watching movies

MOGADISHU, SOMALIA — In response to the recent US designation of former soldier Henry Dean as an Al Qaeda combatant, members of Somalia's Al Qaeda branch angrily told the Duffel Blog that the self-identified 'American Al Qaeda' had actually spent his entire jihad in Somalia making phone calls home and watching movies.

Dean, an Army food service specialist with the rank of Private First Class, deserted from his base at Fort Drum, New York, in April and made his way to Somalia sometime in May, where he publicly proclaimed his allegiance to Al Qaeda’s local affiliate, known as Al-Shabaab.

Previously he had done a year-long tour in Afghanistan at Kandahar Air Field with the US Army in 2009.

"We were so excited when he first showed up," said al-Shabaab founder Ahmed Abdi aw-Mohamed. "We were hoping he would show us all the American counter-IED tactics, or intelligence methods, or maybe even participate in a suicide bombing for us."

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