PARIS — A recent discovery by a team of archaeologists in France has revealed that at least one Roman soldier perished in Rome's Gallic Wars while waiting for Julius Caesar to sign his missing gear statement, sources confirmed today.

The team found the soldier's remains buried with a sheet of papyrus which clearly indicates it was a missing gear statement for "GREAVES, ONE PAIR, SERIAL NUMBER XXIICCCXLVI." The statement had apparently accumulated signatures of the soldier's Optio, Cohort commander, Century commander, and Legion commander, but sat in the Legion's S-1 for years without ever reaching Caesar's desk for final approval.