HOLLYWOOD — Just days after learning of her hatred for America, federal investigators have revealed that pop singer Ariana Grande was recruited by ISIS, radicalized by spokesman Abu Mohammad al-Adnani's Ramadan message, according to intelligence sources.

In a recent audio message, al-Adnani encouraged jihadists to make Ramadan a "calamity for the infidels." Inspired by this directive, Grande infiltrated a local donut shop disguised as a customer and began maliciously licking pastries left out on display. Her wanton act of terrorism complete, she admitted her allegiance to ISIS by declaring, "I hate Americans! I hate America!"

During questioning by federal authorities Grande admitted she was always a "dark and deranged" child who would eventually travel a savage and violent path.