Army struggling to come up with more offensive cadences
FORT BENNING, Ga. – Given the current American craze of getting and staying offended, key leaders in the Army are worried that Jody calls are losing their offensive edge by not keeping up with new offensive words and concepts, sources confirmed today.
“In my day, Jody calls were the most offensive fucking words I could wheeze out during a 10-minute mile platoon run,” said Army Drill Sgt. Bert Michaels. “These new recruits have a completely different tolerance for offense.”
Michaels explained that new recruits aren’t automatically offended by the kind of swearing and sexual talk they’ve been hearing on TV since they were kids. He says that now the best new cadences focus on liberals, cucks, income inequality, and vaccines.
“Drill Sgt. Called out ‘Eskimo Pussy’ just to see what we’d do," one recruit told reporters, on condition of anonymity. "We were all like, ‘is that one of the President’s songs? He talks about pussy a lot. I wasn’t offended at all.”
“To get a group really heated up, I us…
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